Sunday, November 29, 2009

On The Box: The Rise of Cheryl Cole & A New Egghead Is Unveiled

BoldSo X Factor closes on it's 60th Christmas Number One (Well it kept Cliff from Number 1 and that record, which of course he made up) and the interest is heightened, certainly for artists who need a revival (though unluckily for Leonard Cohen most of lovers of Hallelujah bought into the idea that it was Jeff Buckley's song and bought into him instead, at least he got royalties). So who could it possibly this year? whose overloaded cash budget will increase to overwhelming levels? and which contestant will croon their way to number 1?

The Contenders....

Well, I'm not sure, the contestants are "Essex Olly" who is a cheeky chappy (ad nausea),Call Centre slave from Essex. I didn't listen to his sob story so I'm not sure of what area in Essex, but most of it blends into one another. "Dagenham Stace" who sounds like a helium balloon going off and who has a kid (so her life and supposedly her kids life will be "changed" forever) which means Heat will have a feature of Dagenham Stace's child being a secret BNP Member in 20 years time(I Joke of course). Danyl Johnson who tends to stare vaguely and constantly above the camera and the crowd into a parallel universe (Possibly the one in which X Factor doesn't dominate the Xmas Number one slot) and "Geordie Joe", who put in a drag queen type performance on Saturday and who smiles annoyingly and continuously (Remember Tony anyone) and who is backed by 'Queen' Cole (Formerly Tweedy, that's when she hit black people, instead of just insulting them).

"Queen Cole"

What I don't get about Cole is she is awful, she seems to have thrown all her eggs in Joe's basket simply because he is from her area of the country. She is certainly not interested in finding a superstar with the "X-Factor" she is more interested in keeping her crown of winning (Though I'm sure it was Alexandra Burke), and just in case you forgot (which I doubt you could've with the amount of times she mentions it) she was the winning judge on X Factor last year. The problem with having groups of people to mentor is that self interest overcomes the idea of the competition, maybe we should get rid of the Judge's choice, or maybe we should get rid of Cole.

Are You An Egghead

Are You an Egghead is perhaps the best quiz on TV, it eliminates idiots which Television actively seems to promote, and which holds an FA Cup for Quizzers. The excitement of becoming an Egghead must be underwhelming if you judge the latest winner Pat Gibson's face, not only was Gibson one of the most annoyingly smug contestants he also failed last year, which made you wonder if there is a point if you can keep trying to become an Egghead.

The show consists of mostly retired people, bar some lookers (Yes Quiz unlike Darts does have some lookers). Who go through a FA Cup style knockout to determine who is worthy of joining the Eggheads, the show is doubly exciting as it shows up several of the original stars of Eggheads. Kevin always performs well (Bar Food and Drink) but Daphne is utterly hopeless and does suggest that she is finally reaching retirement age, CJ doesn't get to moan half as much, Chris still fucks up, Judith is as hopeless as normal and Barry actually gets to show how good he actually is.

Barry was of course last year's winner and has become my favourite Egghead, after hating him for the entire "Are You An Egghead" series one. So on that basis Pat Gibson may well warm my heart in the near future, as for the time being I advise the BBC to commission a third series.


Let's keep things simple eh?

I've decided to separate my blog into two areas, one such as this will feature culture such as Literature, TV and Music and poetry, while it's sibling "Out On The Boundary" will cover Politics/News/Society and Sport.

So the links are:

Unwritten Words


Out On The Boundary

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Single of The Year 2008

1) Pelle Carlberg – 1983
“Sublime storytelling of the most humorous”

2) Slow Club – Sunday
“Wistfully stirring in its feelings and thoughts, the feel good b side of 2008”

3) Thomas Speight – November Blues
“A Tale of two, with a luscious vocal arrange, and slight hints of sadness”

4) Clik Clik – Did You Wrong
“Boy meets Girl, angst arguments convene over electric beats”

5) Pocketbooks – Falling Leaves
“Piano swoons over the most delicate of lyrical poetry”

6) Chairlift – Bruises
“You’ll know this, it’s sold its soul to Apple, its beautiful mind”

7) The Week That Was – Scratch the Surface
“Field Music are dead….Long Live Field Music 2, Delightful”

8) Johnny Foreigner – Salt, Pepper & Spindrell
“Tales to talk, Talk to listen, full of energy and full of buzz”

9) Grammatics – Vague Archives
“Overblown sounds but frail in voice”

10) Seth Lakeman – Solomon Browne
“Tale of a Tragedy committed to song, a fitting tribute to those lives lost”

11) The Cure – Freakshow
“Smith gets angry, and we fall in love again”

12) Friendly Fires - Paris
“Instance in its lovelorn wants, and delightful in character”

13) Anthony Green – Dear Child
“Bouncy filled beats alongside a mournful angst voice, sounds emo…No”

14) Sebastien Tellier – Divine
“Bubble gum synths burying deep into the mind, creates such beauty…I think I will buy that Megane”

15) Eight Legs – These Grey Days
“Puke up boy, let us get going get out or sex crazed teen describes his lackness”

16) Hot Puppies – Somewhere
“Thoughts sideline in a blast of lost love and life”

17) Stephen Malkmus – Gardenia
“Name check this literature great on this bouncing ball of a beauty.”

18) Hermann Dune – Baby Baby You’re My Baby
“I felt like listening, this made me feel like I felt, because I Love you”

19) Blood Red Shoes – You Bring Me Down
“A war in the soul between the two of them, sexual tension or guitar drums battling”

20) Jeremy Warmsley – Dancing With the Enemy
“TB is less catchy than this ditty”

Album of The Year 2008

1) Johnny Foreigner – Waited up ‘til It Was Light
“Full of brash abrasive tunes, with a girl boy vocal that arrests and charms in equal measure.”

2) Pelle Carlberg – The Lilac Time
“Beautiful charming delightful and full of wit Carlberg makes folk, sweet.”

3) Friendly Fires – Friendly Fires
“Dreamy ambience with a knack for the tune, yet with attitude and ability”

4) Alphabeat – This is Alphabeat
“Full of tunes, no pretence, no shame just straight forward brilliant pop”

5) Jim Noir – Jim Noir
“Remarkable ignored lost gem of Manchester, it may not sell the brand but it speaks volumes”

6) Elle Milano – Acres of Dead Space Cadets
“Now Defunct outfit, a lost gem, a lost sparkle and a brash voice lost”

7) These New Puritans – Beat Pyramid
“Says nothing while saying something, says something while saying nothing, modern in kind, arresting in a listen”

8) Declining Winter – Goodbye Minnesota
“A sparse musical adventure that escapes the mind but floats gently on the soul”

9) Troubles – Wolf
“A rebirth from the ashes of greatest, and yet it holds its own its quality and sound”

10) John & Jehn – The Debut Album
“Haunting vocals delivered on a backdrop of melancholy and Loss.”

11) Eugene McGuiness – Eugene McGuiness
“Spikey, youthful exciting and fun, McGuiness can speak for many”

12) Half Man, Half Biscuit – CSI Ambleside
“Full of Humour and Tunes to match, CSI Ambleside nails modern life on its head”

13) Billy Bragg – Mr Love & Justice
“Bragg’s sparse lyrical content alongside his musical direction creates his most accessible work to date.”

14) Two Man Gentlemen Band – Heavy Petting
“Banjo Duelling, Double Bass banging its Americana from the 00’s the 1900’s and it’s par excellence”

15) Flaming Lips – Christmas on Mars Soundtrack
“The Movie is for fans, but this dark, sparse most haunting soundtrack should be let out, and elope the ears of everyone.”

16) Goddamn Electric Bill – Topics for Gossip
“Electronic sounds alongside tunes most found, allows for a record of quality to be born”

17) MGMT – Oracular Spectacular
“Record = Looping noises and sounds over a bed of fading vocals and wonderful worlds, Live = hopelessly dirge….you decide?”

18) Guillemots – Red
“Guillemots go daring and fail commercially but succeed in music”

19) School of Language – Sea from Shore
“An Album Most Alternative”

20) You, Me @ Six
“Pound for pound the best new “emo” album this year”