On The Box: The Rise of Cheryl Cole & A New Egghead Is Unveiled

So X Factor closes on it's 60th Christmas Number One (Well it kept Cliff from Number 1 and that record, which of course he made up) and the interest is heightened, certainly for artists who need a revival (though unluckily for Leonard Cohen most of lovers of Hallelujah bought into the idea that it was Jeff Buckley's song and bought into him instead, at least he got royalties). So who could it possibly this year? whose overloaded cash budget will increase to overwhelming levels? and which contestant will croon their way to number 1?

The Contenders....

Well, I'm not sure, the contestants are "Essex Olly" who is a cheeky chappy (ad nausea),Call Centre slave from Essex. I didn't listen to his sob story so I'm not sure of what area in Essex, but most of it blends into one another. "Dagenham Stace" who sounds like a helium balloon going off and who has a kid (so her life and supposedly her kids life will be "changed" forever) which means Heat will have a feature of Dagenham Stace's child being a secret BNP Member in 20 years time(I Joke of course). Danyl Johnson who tends to stare vaguely and constantly above the camera and the crowd into a parallel universe (Possibly the one in which X Factor doesn't dominate the Xmas Number one slot) and "Geordie Joe", who put in a drag queen type performance on Saturday and who smiles annoyingly and continuously (Remember Tony anyone) and who is backed by 'Queen' Cole (Formerly Tweedy, that's when she hit black people, instead of just insulting them).

"Queen Cole"

What I don't get about Cole is she is awful, she seems to have thrown all her eggs in Joe's basket simply because he is from her area of the country. She is certainly not interested in finding a superstar with the "X-Factor" she is more interested in keeping her crown of winning (Though I'm sure it was Alexandra Burke), and just in case you forgot (which I doubt you could've with the amount of times she mentions it) she was the winning judge on X Factor last year. The problem with having groups of people to mentor is that self interest overcomes the idea of the competition, maybe we should get rid of the Judge's choice, or maybe we should get rid of Cole.

Are You An Egghead

Are You an Egghead is perhaps the best quiz on TV, it eliminates idiots which Television actively seems to promote, and which holds an FA Cup for Quizzers. The excitement of becoming an Egghead must be underwhelming if you judge the latest winner Pat Gibson's face, not only was Gibson one of the most annoyingly smug contestants he also failed last year, which made you wonder if there is a point if you can keep trying to become an Egghead.

The show consists of mostly retired people, bar some lookers (Yes Quiz unlike Darts does have some lookers). Who go through a FA Cup style knockout to determine who is worthy of joining the Eggheads, the show is doubly exciting as it shows up several of the original stars of Eggheads. Kevin always performs well (Bar Food and Drink) but Daphne is utterly hopeless and does suggest that she is finally reaching retirement age, CJ doesn't get to moan half as much, Chris still fucks up, Judith is as hopeless as normal and Barry actually gets to show how good he actually is.

Barry was of course last year's winner and has become my favourite Egghead, after hating him for the entire "Are You An Egghead" series one. So on that basis Pat Gibson may well warm my heart in the near future, as for the time being I advise the BBC to commission a third series.